Man and Boy/Man and Wife

By Tony Parsons

The reason this is a joint review is I because I only fully appreciated the story when I had read ‘Man and Wife’ as well. You can read them on their own, but the second one, I felt, needed the background knowledge of the first one.

Harry has it all; a beautiful wife, a great son, a successful tv-career, a beautiful home. In one night he throws it all away. Gina, his beautiful wife, leaves him and moves to Japan, whilst he cares for his son, Pat. The book describes the journey Harry is on to figure out why he did it, who he is and what his values are. The deep love that he and Gina had created never goes away, but it is stained by this one night, neither of them can forget.

The place that is a constant place of peace and happiness is at his mum and dad’s house. Harry was an only child, and a cherished one because his mum and dad struggled with miscarriages before him. Pat loves going there too, it’s where Harry feels he can be a family again.

The huge contrast between Harry’s family situation and his mum and dad’s, plays an important role in the book. Harry feels guilty for ‘screwing up’ his relationship with Gina and Pat because he knows, from looking at his mum and dad, that it can work.

There is a lot of heartbreak and hurt described in these books; from Harry’s point of view, Gina’s point of view and Pat’s. Harry and Gina both start again with different partners and we find out in detail what struggles come with a broken family, different backgrounds, different partners.

The reason I enjoyed reading this book is because of the very real and honest look at marriage and divorce. What it would look like in an ideal world, but also how people cope with a less than ideal situation. The look into Harry’s life confronts us with two very different ideas about family life. The detailed quotes in this book are very profound. I’m worried that if I say too much about this book I will spoil it, it is definitely worth a read.

Harry, at one point, wonders if he needs to love or be loved by more than one partner. When he is with Cyd, his second wife, he nearly has an affair with another girl. Then he stops and realises he has a choice. He might want one thing, but he chooses to stay faithful to his wife.

‘Does it change? As the years go by, I mean. Should I expect my marriage to be something different from what it was at the start?’
My mother smiled.
‘It changes all the time, it never stops changing. When you’re young you say – I love you because I need you. When you’re old it’s – I need you because I love you. Big difference. And I’m not saying the one is better than the other, although the second one thend to last a bit longer. But you never stop loving each other, Harry. Not if it’s real.’ (p286)

The books are fantastic and a necessary read for everyone who wants to understand today view on marriage and family life.